RAMBLINGS: parenthood love triangle

​Oh my bananas bajeesus. I just finished the episode before the Season 4 finale of Parenthood. I'm literally dying. Of course there's been a whole bunch of shenanigans going on in the show (Drew and Amy getting pregnant and having an abortion - Jesus H!) but no shocker I have been obsessed with Sarah's storyline with Mark and Hank.

Obviously from the last post I made about this show I was team Mark 10000%. But that was when the other options were Sarah alone or Sarah with Seth. And the thing is, I absolutely love Mark as a character and the whole development of their relationship... but that was before Hank came into the picture.

Okay -- even though I can seriously only see this guy as Ray Romano, I am kind of low key obsessed with his character and how his connection with Sarah has developed. He's got this cynical, brooding, artist thing going on (where Mark is more of a sweet, caring, artist) and the way that Sarah has been able to bring him out of his shell and pull some genuine feelings from him actually melts my heart into a pink squishy mess. (And as actually disturbing and painfully weird as it is for me to admit -- Hank has got some tall, dark, and handsome foxiness going on. I can see it.)

I AM STRUGGLING SO HARD. I obviously had been pining so hard for Mark and Sarah to work out - and they did and it was magical! But then Hank was introduced and I found myself wanting him and Sarah to get together so badly. When the engagement with Mark was falling apart I felt so sad for Sarah and how her happy ending was disintegrating, but also it was so cute to see Hank and Sarah actually begin to start a relationship. AND NOW THERE IS PISSING-CONTEST-FIGHT-COMPETITION-MAN-DUEL HAPPENING TO WIN SARAH'S HEART AND I AM LIVING FOR IT.

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I have no idea what to think or feel or want. Usually I am solidly on one side or another when it comes to ships on shows, and I've never been so completely on the fence before. This is a brand new feeling for me. I've never seen a love triangle on TV (trust me I've seen many) where I've genuinely liked both options, both people, and the kind of relationships they have with the middle person. I know this is dramatic and I am fangirling to an embarrassing degree, but I'm just having a lot of ~feels~ and I can't articulate them all. ​​
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I'm so nervous and excited to watch and see what happens and what Sarah will decide. I also know that no matter what someone I like is going to be sad, and it could even be all three of them, which would be awful. (But also not? Girl power? Feminism? Help!) AND the next episode is a season finale so there is definitely potential for a time jump and oh my god anything can happen with that. I'm so anxious!

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I will not be watching the finale tonight because I don't want to torture myself (and also I want to torture myself) so I will save it for a time when I can jump right into the next season after. (Which is another weird OCD habit I have when it comes to TV.) I want more more more but I'm also sad because the more I get the closer I'm getting to the end of the series and I know that's gonna make me so sad.

ANYWAY, I am going to take my dramatic-ass-self to bed and try not to stay up all night thinking about fictional characters lives. I do not predict I will be sucessful. I'll check in with you guys at least once more post-Parenthood. Be prepared for a lot of tears (from me).